Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Did I show you my penis last night?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
