I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize