He is like the real live version of the state fair..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
