I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize