omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize