i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
