BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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