I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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