Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
