Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
