I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
