I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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