really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
