I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
