Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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