I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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