I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
