whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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