Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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