I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
