I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
