did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
