Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You need a sexual gate keeper
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
