people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize