Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
