I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
