lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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