I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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