I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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