whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
