if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
