party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
