So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
