If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize