i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
