my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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