# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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