i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
