I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
