a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I will be naked everywhere
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
