my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
