...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
