If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize