i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
