He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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