All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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