this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
