So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
