so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Are we still banned from the library?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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