he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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