"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
