yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
