i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
