Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
