just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
