In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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