Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize