i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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