I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Less talking, more tequila
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
third nipple confirmed
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
