i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
