my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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