so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
