just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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