I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
