i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
They took my balls.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
