the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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