I am puke
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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