As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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