I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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