This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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